Following the Paper Trail...

Sent off all of the paperwork to the travel agency this morning. All that's left is the airline ticket. :) 

I am faced with a maximum of 38 days left in these great United States of America, but I'm finding that fact to be very..tedious. Thirty-eight days seems to be thirty-seven and one half days too many. I remember that I was already counting down the days when I was at eighty-odd days. That was an unbelievably long time ago...that was when I was still wondering whether I would be in Mainz or Idar-Oberstein. It blows my mind that I'll be in Berlin. I can say that Ich bin Berliner...and be telling the world that not only am I a jelly doughnut, I am one who lives in Berlin. Or, will in a matter of days. Mind. Blown. And I know that's the thing that will continually come up, even when I'm actually in Deutschland, but I still can't believe that I'm going to Berlin, and I'm absolutely sure that I still won't be able to believe it when I'm there. 

My life changed in the most fantastic and amazing way possible when I filled out that simple piece of paper that asked me what my hobbies are and why I wanted to do an exchange. There's no going back - I'm an exchange student now. Even though my exchange hasn't started in the I'm-in-another-country way, the way I think, the way I act, the way I see things has changed. I've thought about how I'm going to introduce myself, coming up with multiple ways of using my extremely limited German without looking up anything. I've started limiting myself on what I can wear, to accustom myself to the smaller wardrobe I'll be taking with me. I've already started saying my goodbyes - to my school, my teachers, the little things that always make me feel better at home that I won't be able to take with me. In roughly thirty days, I'll start packing a year of my life into one suitcase and a backpack, knowing that what I'll get from the effort (trust me, choosing a suitcase and backpack's worth of stuff will definitely be an effort. We're talking a year here, in one suitcase and a backpack. I'm a teenage girl, remember.) will be impossible to pack, and something that I will never forget and cherish my entire life. Any pain that comes from this experience will be so outweighed by all of the wonderful things that I'll get from it that in the end, I doubt I'll even remember the hardships I faced.

Oh, I know it's going to be hard. Every RYES knows it, but the thing that makes us RYES is the fact that we're crazy enough to forget about that for long enough to get on the plane. Or at least strong enough to get on the plane in spite of what we're afraid of. I never knew how strong I was until I realized that I'm really doing this. I'll never forget that it was a Rotary Youth Exchange that made me realize who I am, before I even got on the plane.

Well Then, That's the End of That

I am officially no longer a high schooler. Well, an American high schooler. Tonight I graduated. Finally. It's only been fourteen years. It turned out that graduation itself wasn't as atrocious as I thought it was going to be. I did not: fall asleep, cry, die of boredom, or do anything utterly idiotic. I laughed, though. Some interesting memories were brought back from the depths of my mind.

But the real reason for this post is something I realized today. When I'm thinking about next year, I'm very excited. I'm thrilled about all of the possibilities, all of the things that I'll experience..but I don't really know what I will experience. So when I think about my exchange, I'm forced to think about the things I know I'll miss - my family, my bed, my pillow, the sounds and sights of home. So if it seems like I'm very mopey and focusing on the negative, it's because the negatives - well, the negative losses are the only things I actually know about. They're the only things I'm really, truly aware of at this point. No macaroni and cheese after a bad day, no sitting down and texting one of my best friends, no going home and crashing in front of the TV, no rummaging in the kitchen and throwing together some weird crazy mess for dinner.

When I think about all of the positives, there's no way I can know that they will come to be. I cannot be sure that I'm going to get along with people, no matter how hard I try; that I'm going to learn German as easily as I'm hoping; that it's going to be anything like I think and hope it will be. I have no doubt that this is going to be an amazing experience, and that I'll have a great time. I have no doubt that I'll learn a massive amount of things, that I'l make connections that will last me a lifetime. I have no doubt that I am going to try my hardest to be a wonderful ambassador and leave lasting impressions, lasting good impressions.

But at the same time, I do have doubts of how well, how quickly these are going to happen. How fully these predictions are going to come to be. None of what lives in my mind about this exchange is based on fact - I have no fact or experience to base it on. But in less than 45 days, I will.

Just to Keep You on Your Toes.....

Things keep turning out to be not what I thought they would be. lol.

I got my guarantee forms yesterday (just as awesome as I thought the feeling would be), but it turns out my club is not Alexanderplatz. It's Zitadell. It's all very exciting, but Zitadell is not in downtown Berlin. :( I do love the name, though. Zitadell. It's funny, I've always loved the word "citadel" and it turns out I love the word in German, too. :)

It's...actually sinking in. I made a list of the clothes I'm going to take with me. It's probably going to change, but....I actually sat down and made a list of clothes that I'm going to end up putting in a suitcase that will go with me to an airport, get put on a plane (hopefully the same plane I'll get on..lol) and fly ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN to DEUTSCHLAND and stay there FOR A YEAR. In BERLIN. Oh gosh. This is..insanity. I love insanity. :)

Ich liebe meine guarantee forms, ich liebe Deutschland, ich liebe Berlin, ich liebe Rotary....es ist gut. Sehr gut.

lalalala OH LOOK!!

Got an email today. My district YEO Chair got my guarantee forms. :) And is going to send them off tomorrow. I have my guarantee forms. This is really honestly truly happening. Wowza. It's...yeah. Still not sinking in. I cannot, cannot wait to hold those guarantee forms again. I'll be holding something that my host family held, that my school administrators held, that my club President has held....that has been in Germany. Where I'll be in less than 60 days. This is insanity.

In other news, my ipod is dying. This:

has turned into this:

And made me this: 

So. I need to get a new ipod before I leave for Germany, in a maximum of 51 days. Yep.

Happy news: no more homework!!! Because school is over. And graduation is on Friday. 

In any case, this morning's email has made me quite happy. I had an excellent weekend with my family, ate loads of delicious food and am generally...very happy. It's going to be a great year, and..it's already begun. It's going to be wonderful. Deutschland, hier komme ich. 

Just a Little Fish in a Really Big Sea....

So, I was inspired by a friend today. Upon finding out I was going to Berlin, she commented that I would "just be a little fish in a really big sea." I seized the turn of phrase and have decided to compare my American home to my German home, just by statistics. So here goes nothing....or something.

Home Base (AKA U.S.A.)

Sherman

• 1,553 people in the town, village included
• 36.4 square miles, 94.2 square kilometers
• First settled around 1823, formed in 1924 from a part of Mina township
• Part of Chautauqua County
• About 30 minutes from a McDonalds
• Less than 600 kids, kindergarten to grade 12, all in one building
• Average Low: 14ºF, -10ºC; Average High: 80ºF, 26ºC
• Only child, two dogs

Chautauqua County

• 134,905 people
• 1,500 square miles, 3,885 square kilometers
• 29% water
• Formed 1811

Deutschland 

Kladow

• 13,628 people
• 5.7 square miles, 14.8 square kilometers
• First mentioned in 1267
• Part of Spandau 
• A little brother, two little sisters, a dog and a cat

Spandau

• 223, 962 people
• 35.48 square miles, 91.91 square kilometers
• Wikipedia won't tell me how old it is...
• Kant-Gymnasium Spandau: about 900 kids, grades 5-12
• There's practically a McDonald's across the street from my school, which is about half an hour from Kladow
• One of the twelve boroughs of Berlin

Berlin

•  3,450,889 people
• 344.3 square miles, 891.85 square kilometers
• Around since the 13th Century
• Capital of Germany
• Average Low: 28.6ºF, -1.9ºC; Average High: 74.7ºF, 23.7ºC
• About 500 McDonalds' in Berlin

So.....in summary....Berlin is big. Really big. And I'm really excited about the weather. Especially since they barely get snow. And Sherman gets pounded. 

It's really sinking in now. I'm actually going to Germany for a year. It's pretty scary. Scary exciting, that is. Today was the last part of my high school career that actually matters. I mean, Baccalaureate and Graduation, but today was my physics regents (big scary state test that every high schooler in NY has to take for every Regents class they take), the last thing that was graded. So...I have two more events as an American high schooler. And then I have a year of events as a Rotary Exchange Student and German high schooler. Ich bin ein Austaschstudent.

Please, Sir, I Want Some More....

Hahahahaha. I got some more. :) Sorry, Oliver.

I got an email from Friedrich today, well, one that went to all the inbounds to Germany. He told us to go update our information on the German Rotary Exchange website because he had. So, being me, I went to check it out. Now I have a club, too. :) My host club is Berlin-Alexanderplatz. clicky!!! It's awesome!! The club meetings are right outside of Tiergarten, which is pretty much downtown Berlin. Downtown. Berlin. Me. Holy crap. This is...insane and wonderful and thrilling and fantastic and I want to leave tomorrow!!! Except for the fact that I don't know any German, and I don't even have a clue what I'm going to pack, let alone when I'm going to pack. Something I really need to start thinking about. I mean, I'm leaving in a maximum of 56 days. And that's hard to believe. That and the fact that I'm going to be living in Berlin. For a year.

Rotary...I love you. A lot. Just saying. Thank you. :) And now I should sleep so I don't fail the finals I have to take tomorrow. Once more, though. Rotary: <3

I Haven't Got a Clue What to Title this Post. Deal With It.

So....I HAVE A HOST FAMILY. Yes. Yes, you read that right. Now I can stop being all mopey and melancholy. Which makes me very happy. I was getting tired of that version of me.

As you know, if you've been reading since the beginning, or have read the beginning since starting to read this blog, I am an only child. Or rather, I was. Now I have host siblings. :)

I woke up on Tuesday morning with an awful case of the mopeys. I just was not having a very good time of it. I was not feeling very well from the riding-in-the-rain thing that was the Bike Trek (which was awesome and wonderful except for the rain, by the by.), impatient for the end of the school year (three days, now) and a little irritated because the internet was turned off because of the storm. Our lightning protector got fried a couple weekends ago and we haven't gotten a new one, so every time we hear thunder, we turn the internet off. It gets old fast. Anyhoo. I was about to turn on the internet when I heard thunder. Which did not make my morning. But what did make my morning, though, is what happened when my dad gave in and turned on the internet for a few minutes.

I had gotten an email from my host family. Which you probably could have guessed by now. But there it was, in all its glory, waiting for me in my inbox. I saw it, clicked it, read the first two words, spazzed and accidentally deleted it. And then when I looked back, I thought, "Was it just a figment of my imagination??" Luckily I had the composure (there wasn't much of it, let me tell you) to check my trash. There it was!!! I couldn't actually calm down enough to read it, of course. I jumped up, ran (running into things...a lot of things) making a big commotion to mom's room, woke her up and made her read the email since my brain couldn't process anything.

My host family is: Saskia and Dominik, Caspar, Carlo, Clara and Golda. Caspar is 16 and going to Mexico on exchange, Carlo is 14 and I'll be going to his school, Clara is 12 and Golda is 9. And they have "an old dog and a nasty cat." I love that sentence. So much. It makes me happy. :) They live just outside of Berlin, too!!!! I'm going to BERLIN!!!!!!!!!!!! Not right in the city, but...BERLIN. BERLIN.

It's kind of exciting. And fantastic. And amazing. And YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!

I'm kind of excited. In case you can't tell. Oh, and in every email I've sent to them, I've said that I'm excited. At least once. I suppose it's safer to let the excitement show rather than bottle it up inside until I blow up. It wouldn't take much bottling for me to blow up, though...there's a lot of excitement. :)

Thanks for reading this thing. Many exclamation points. Now I needs must leave. Until later, faithful readers. :)