I've been here for....two days? Yeah...I've been here for two days, today is my third. And it's Mittwoch!! (My favorite day of the week....because how much fun is it to say Mittwoch?? Very!!) And now I have to decide whether I want to go shopping with my host brother and his friend, and use my metro card for the FIRST TIME (because now I can use the transportation because I HAVE A METROCARD!!) or whether I want to go with my host mum and host sister to a zoo. I don't know!! It's hard, not knowing what's being said, or how to say anything, but still having to communicate.
Yesterday was bad, because I realized it. We were all sitting outside and everyone was talking and I couldn't understand them, and didn't know why they were laughing when they were....I felt like such a failure. But then, when I ran away, one of my friends talked to me and yelled at me a little, and told me to suck it up. So I went back downstairs, armed with a box of nerds and forced myself to say a few things, and then haltingly ask my host sister if she wanted to jump on the trampoline. Luckily, she said yes. Then one of the other people came and jumped with us and she patiently, very, very patiently listened to my German. It really boosted my confidence, that I could say some things in German and that they could be understood.
Well, I have to make up my mind now. I'll be back later. Ich liebe Berlin. :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Ich bin hier!!!
Well, here I am. More than twenty-four hours with less than two of sleep. Yeah. I'm kind of...something right now. But....here's the big thing. I'M HERE. In Berlin. BERLIN. It's...very strange. I've been here for....less than twelve hours and it already feels like home. My host family is amazing. I was kind of worried about having siblings because I never have, but...so far, alles is gut. Sehr gut.
While I was sitting in the gate at JFK, waiting to board, I looked around aimlessly, only to be greeted by the most pleasant of surprises: three other be-blazered girls. I immediately grabbed my bag and ran up to meet them. Of course, since we were boarding and were NOT, needlessly to say, sitting anywhere near each other, I barely met them before finding my seat and settling in to the eight-hour flight. The person sitting next to me was pleasant enough. It was a good flight in the end, with a surprising two hours of snatched sleep. Unexpected snatched sleep. I succeeded in getting a photo with the captain of the flight, as one of my friends and I had decided we were going to do to commemorate our flight. :)
We went to Berlin Zitadelle today, after I unpacked. Oh, and as a note for any and all exchange students ANYWHERE. If there is ANYTHING that you're taking that has ANY chance of exploding due to pressure, DOUBLE BAG IT. Or at least single bag. Proof:
While I was sitting in the gate at JFK, waiting to board, I looked around aimlessly, only to be greeted by the most pleasant of surprises: three other be-blazered girls. I immediately grabbed my bag and ran up to meet them. Of course, since we were boarding and were NOT, needlessly to say, sitting anywhere near each other, I barely met them before finding my seat and settling in to the eight-hour flight. The person sitting next to me was pleasant enough. It was a good flight in the end, with a surprising two hours of snatched sleep. Unexpected snatched sleep. I succeeded in getting a photo with the captain of the flight, as one of my friends and I had decided we were going to do to commemorate our flight. :)
Got off the plane, went through passport control, found the other girls waiting at the baggage claim area and huddled up, trying to get at our bags as they passed. We all failed. And in English, too. :) But luckily for us, there was a very kind gentleman who spoke English and grabbed our bags for us. One of the girls had a massive welcome party with signs and everything. I couldn't find the Weigands and Jürgen behind the signs, but they found me. :) I'm sitting next to Clara right now, typing this. Speaking Deutsch. :) Ist gut. Ich liebe es. (She just corrected me. :) )
We went to Berlin Zitadelle today, after I unpacked. Oh, and as a note for any and all exchange students ANYWHERE. If there is ANYTHING that you're taking that has ANY chance of exploding due to pressure, DOUBLE BAG IT. Or at least single bag. Proof:
That, my friends, is blueberry jam I did not think for a second to wrap. I have learned my lesson. I promise. Nobody gets blueberry jam now. Luckily it didn't ruin anything because it was in the stuff suitcase and most of the jam went ON the suitcase or the plastic wrapped and air sucked sweaters next to it.
Back to the day. Berlin Zitadelle....dang. My club's namesake.....I like Berlin-Zitadelle now even more than I did before. The reason why?
And that's only one view. There are about three gazillion other options. That's just the coolest one. :)
Und, meine Familie. :) Ich liebe Sie. :)
Friday, July 29, 2011
Dawn
Of a sort.
It's finally dawning on me. The fact that in two weeks from today, I will have been in Berlin for almost a week. In just more than a week, I will be getting on a plane and leaving my home town, home country, home language, friends, family and everything else that I've known for an entire year. I'll be spending that year in a country that I've only dreamed of going back to, after a short week-long vacation spent there, the best vacation of my life. And for all of the wonderful parts of this realization, it always comes back to the fact that the hug I give my mother before stepping past that line at airport security will be the last hug I give her for a year. That night I spend in bed, on my pillow, will be the last night I spend on my bed for a year. That morning when I wake up and stumble groggily out to the bathroom, will be the last time I feel comfortable in a house for quite a while. The next time I wake up in a house, I'm not going to know where things are, and I'm not going to know the house well enough to be able to walk around turning on the light. I'm going to stumble over things, and wander around on tiptoes trying not to wake people up. My life is going to be turned utterly upside down in just more than a week.
It's scary. A year seems like a much longer amount of time now, when it's going to be starting so soon. Five months ago, a year didn't seem like that long at all, nothing to be scared of, nothing to even make me stop and think. But now, there's a part of me that doesn't want to go. That's wondering what I was thinking, that Ocotober day so long ago. "What are you thining? How can you even think for a second that this is a good idea? You're leaving home. You're leaving the only place you have ever known for a completely new place and a new experience. You don't know anything about what you're doing. You're an idiot." But when that part of me comes out, I realize why I'm doing it. When the scared part refuses to back down, I have to tell myself, "You're not leaving home for a year, you're going to make a new home in a year." And then, hopefully, I can manage to stop tearing up. Maybe. If I'm lucky.
Berlin isn't going anywhere, and neither is Sherman. I am going somewhere. I am leaving Sherman and going to Berlin. A new life is going to be made, whether I like it or not. It's up to me to make it the best possible experience. And I am determined to make it just that.
Oh, and in case of big boo-boos in this post: I just typed it all from a document I had written in my word processor when I was internet-less. I didn't bother to read what I was typing. I apologize for any errors.
It's finally dawning on me. The fact that in two weeks from today, I will have been in Berlin for almost a week. In just more than a week, I will be getting on a plane and leaving my home town, home country, home language, friends, family and everything else that I've known for an entire year. I'll be spending that year in a country that I've only dreamed of going back to, after a short week-long vacation spent there, the best vacation of my life. And for all of the wonderful parts of this realization, it always comes back to the fact that the hug I give my mother before stepping past that line at airport security will be the last hug I give her for a year. That night I spend in bed, on my pillow, will be the last night I spend on my bed for a year. That morning when I wake up and stumble groggily out to the bathroom, will be the last time I feel comfortable in a house for quite a while. The next time I wake up in a house, I'm not going to know where things are, and I'm not going to know the house well enough to be able to walk around turning on the light. I'm going to stumble over things, and wander around on tiptoes trying not to wake people up. My life is going to be turned utterly upside down in just more than a week.
It's scary. A year seems like a much longer amount of time now, when it's going to be starting so soon. Five months ago, a year didn't seem like that long at all, nothing to be scared of, nothing to even make me stop and think. But now, there's a part of me that doesn't want to go. That's wondering what I was thinking, that Ocotober day so long ago. "What are you thining? How can you even think for a second that this is a good idea? You're leaving home. You're leaving the only place you have ever known for a completely new place and a new experience. You don't know anything about what you're doing. You're an idiot." But when that part of me comes out, I realize why I'm doing it. When the scared part refuses to back down, I have to tell myself, "You're not leaving home for a year, you're going to make a new home in a year." And then, hopefully, I can manage to stop tearing up. Maybe. If I'm lucky.
Berlin isn't going anywhere, and neither is Sherman. I am going somewhere. I am leaving Sherman and going to Berlin. A new life is going to be made, whether I like it or not. It's up to me to make it the best possible experience. And I am determined to make it just that.
Oh, and in case of big boo-boos in this post: I just typed it all from a document I had written in my word processor when I was internet-less. I didn't bother to read what I was typing. I apologize for any errors.
Monday, July 25, 2011
I've Got the Golden Ticket :)
Well, in all fairness, I have neither a paper nor golden ticket. It is, however, a ticket. A ticket that will enable me to get on a plane and cross the Atlantic Ocean (kinda like my nifty guarantee form did, but I won't be signed by multiple people) and spend some time in Berlin. Pretty freaking awesome, eh? I tend to think so.
The days are winding down. 12 days left, I think is the tally. I'm at my aunt's house, and tomorrow I'll be heading to my great-uncle's. He lived in Germany for twenty years and speaks the language fluently. It's my pre-immersion immersion. It's been eons since I've seen him, and if I saw him in Walmart, I wouldn't recognize him. But I've spoken to him on the phone and he seems awesome and super cool and kickbutt. Gonna learn me some DEUTSCH!
I brought some nerds with me (the little Wonka candies, not the people) and my aunt is sitting here munching on them. "Aren't the addictive?" <--me "They're not good, I'm not enjoying them. *munch munch*" <--my aunt. It's pretty funny. I went out with a friend the other day, and we were shopping and I found a legit BOX of them. Not the dorky little box, but like a bottlecaps sized box of nerds. I was very happy. It's been determined that I'm going to need to take a couple boxes with me, because as it is now, I'm utterly addicted, and will suffer withdrawal if I get on a plane with no nerds. I shall remedy this problem in the next couple weeks.
I was going to post a photo of my ticket when I got it, but it exists only in the virtual realm as an e-ticket, and I have a packet of multi-colored pamphlets teaching me how to pack and travel wisely. So it won't make for a very interesting photo. I apologize. I love you all, dear readers, even though my lack of interesting-photo-posting may seem contradictory to that. Many hugs and hearts, readers of Worlds Apart.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Filler-ville
Yep. I'm just writing this because I have an epic post in mind, but I don't know when I'll be able to write it. So....I'm just going to do this.
My counselor from Berlin-Zitadelle has contacted me. I have an idea of when I'll be leaving. I've babysat twice in the last two weeks. I'm going to a family reunion today. I'm going to my grandparents today, which was not planned until two days ago and is pretty much messing me up. I still have to pack for that....
I started packing for departure, which will be after I pack for my grandparents', and after I pack to go to my great-uncle's to learn German. I honestly don't know how I'm going to manage to fit everything I want to take into that suitcase, even with spacebags. A lot of other exchange students say to pack extremely light, because you'll end up buying clothes and shoes and the like when you're there, but...I don't want to buy a lot. I want to save that money so I can go on my Eurotrip. Rotary exchange is cheap, compared to other exchange programs, but airline tickets are NOT cheap, no matter how you look at it. Lapel pins are also surprisingly not cheap. Especially when you need to get 300 of them. And then flags and other things for host families (which I will not mention by name, in case the Weigands are reading this. :)) So, in other words, my suitcase is going to be very full of clothes and I need to make sure they all fit and don't weigh more than 50 pounds.
Also, with about 20.5 days remaining until I get on that plane, I'm realizing all of the things that I'm going to miss....starting with my mom, ending with my pillow and all those tasty preservative-laden snacks I'm so fond of. There's a lot in between, too. The point is, if I let myself think about these things too long, or a little too intensely, my eyes start getting wet and then these strange little blobs of moisture come out of them. Yeah, I'm admitting to crying a little. On the internet. Where the world can see. lol. But then I listen to my music and sing really loudly and badly and make other people around me want to run away. And then I think about where I'm going, and why I'm going, and I'm better.
I'm going to Germany. Can you believe it? I don't think I can.
My counselor from Berlin-Zitadelle has contacted me. I have an idea of when I'll be leaving. I've babysat twice in the last two weeks. I'm going to a family reunion today. I'm going to my grandparents today, which was not planned until two days ago and is pretty much messing me up. I still have to pack for that....
I started packing for departure, which will be after I pack for my grandparents', and after I pack to go to my great-uncle's to learn German. I honestly don't know how I'm going to manage to fit everything I want to take into that suitcase, even with spacebags. A lot of other exchange students say to pack extremely light, because you'll end up buying clothes and shoes and the like when you're there, but...I don't want to buy a lot. I want to save that money so I can go on my Eurotrip. Rotary exchange is cheap, compared to other exchange programs, but airline tickets are NOT cheap, no matter how you look at it. Lapel pins are also surprisingly not cheap. Especially when you need to get 300 of them. And then flags and other things for host families (which I will not mention by name, in case the Weigands are reading this. :)) So, in other words, my suitcase is going to be very full of clothes and I need to make sure they all fit and don't weigh more than 50 pounds.
Also, with about 20.5 days remaining until I get on that plane, I'm realizing all of the things that I'm going to miss....starting with my mom, ending with my pillow and all those tasty preservative-laden snacks I'm so fond of. There's a lot in between, too. The point is, if I let myself think about these things too long, or a little too intensely, my eyes start getting wet and then these strange little blobs of moisture come out of them. Yeah, I'm admitting to crying a little. On the internet. Where the world can see. lol. But then I listen to my music and sing really loudly and badly and make other people around me want to run away. And then I think about where I'm going, and why I'm going, and I'm better.
I'm going to Germany. Can you believe it? I don't think I can.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
One Month
At this point in my Exchange, it could be argued that I'm not yet to my exchange. I'm still in my home country, I'm still speaking my native language, I'm still sleeping on my own bed, I'm still waking up to the same sounds I've been hearing for the past eighteen years. But at this point on my Exchange, the fact that I'm not going to be in my home country, speaking my native language, etc. dawns on me quite often. I'll be sitting on the couch, in the car, on my bed, thinking about nothing in particular when I realize, "I have a month here. In a month, I'll be in Germany, trying to speak German." And then when I realize that, my stomach sort of drops, kind of like that feeling right when you start going over the hill on a roller coaster. For a split second, I'm filled with...terror. There's no other word for it.
The fact that I'm going on exchange is never out of my mind. Not for a minute. Everything I do, I do with the knowledge that depending on what it is I'm doing, it might be the last time I do it in America. Every day when I wake up, and before I go to sleep, I see the large, blue suitcase that is sitting on the (admittedly messy) floor of my room. Right now it has a roll of paper towels on it and the notebook with any and all lists I will need in preparation for my departure. And next to my pillow is the casette player (that is so old it squeals) that I use to listen to my Pimsleur tapes and the notebook I've been journaling in. And on the hearth in the dining room is the even larger blue suitcase I'm going to pack the large blue suitcase in my room in, and the box with pins and other goodies to hand out on my exchange. And fom the wire rack that holds all of the stuffed animals from my youth hangs my blazer, with its measly collection of pins. So not only is my exchange living in my mind, it's pretty much taken over my house, too.
If Rotary Youth Exchange were a roller coaster, I'd be halfway up the first hill, if even. I'm staring at what's going to happen next, and I don't know how it's going to end. In a month, possibly less, I'll actually be at the top of that hill. I'll be in an airplane staring off into the unknown, just hoping I don't puke. It's a good thing I've always loved a good roller coaster. I think this is my favorite one yet, though. It takes me to Deutschland.
The fact that I'm going on exchange is never out of my mind. Not for a minute. Everything I do, I do with the knowledge that depending on what it is I'm doing, it might be the last time I do it in America. Every day when I wake up, and before I go to sleep, I see the large, blue suitcase that is sitting on the (admittedly messy) floor of my room. Right now it has a roll of paper towels on it and the notebook with any and all lists I will need in preparation for my departure. And next to my pillow is the casette player (that is so old it squeals) that I use to listen to my Pimsleur tapes and the notebook I've been journaling in. And on the hearth in the dining room is the even larger blue suitcase I'm going to pack the large blue suitcase in my room in, and the box with pins and other goodies to hand out on my exchange. And fom the wire rack that holds all of the stuffed animals from my youth hangs my blazer, with its measly collection of pins. So not only is my exchange living in my mind, it's pretty much taken over my house, too.
If Rotary Youth Exchange were a roller coaster, I'd be halfway up the first hill, if even. I'm staring at what's going to happen next, and I don't know how it's going to end. In a month, possibly less, I'll actually be at the top of that hill. I'll be in an airplane staring off into the unknown, just hoping I don't puke. It's a good thing I've always loved a good roller coaster. I think this is my favorite one yet, though. It takes me to Deutschland.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Post Which Will Not Be Named....(oooooo....ominous)
Tomorrow I have a Rotary meeting. I'm pretty psyched. I love my Rotary club. :) I spoke to my YEO the other day via email and he asked me if I would give a short presentation. I had expected this, and was thinking I would just stand up and say that I'm going to Berlin, talk about my family a little, the usual. And then, after speaking to him, I decided, "What the heck. I'll make a powerpoint." So I sat down and spent about twenty minutes making the cover slide - finding a couple good photos and editing them on picnik, deciding what to call it, etc. I think it must have taken me about...oh, an hour and a half from start to finish? It was so much fun, though. I got to go through and pick all of my favorite information - I pretty much copied this awesomeness into a powerpoint presentation, got a photo of Kant-Gymnasium, the Weigands; I even put on my blazer and took a photo of that for the end. I got really into it. I have a tendency to get really excited about and involved in things for Rotary. Towards the end of the year, Rotary projects and the rare chem assignment were the only things I actually focused on, other than stalking 1940, and at the very end, Kladow.
This is a sort of...unfocused post, eh? I suppose the point is: I really want my plane ticket. I really want to know when I'm actually leaving, and what my itinerary is going to be...I need to study my airports and figure out how I'm going to get where in time. I want to see if anyone else is going to be in the same airports as me at the same time. I want to know my airline's requirements/limitations on luggage so I can do some trial runs to make sure I'll be good. There's so much to do regarding the trip there...I'm not even thinking about things I need to take care of for when I get there. And there's no shortage of that, either - gifts for host families; flags for club, family, school; make sure I know what I need to know for the Alien Resident Permit; learning German (<-- a biggie); and a load of things I can't think of right now.
In the meantime, I will sit in my room and listen to German music. Silbermond, Luxuslärm, Peter Fox...:) Facebook is wonderful, because if it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't already know a bunch of the people going to my district, and if it weren't for that, I would never have found Silbermond or Luxuslärm, and wouldn't know about the possibility of going to concerts. Facebook rocks. Rotary rocks. Berlin rocks. Lots of things rock my socks off. Proof? I'm not wearing socks right now. ^_^
This is a sort of...unfocused post, eh? I suppose the point is: I really want my plane ticket. I really want to know when I'm actually leaving, and what my itinerary is going to be...I need to study my airports and figure out how I'm going to get where in time. I want to see if anyone else is going to be in the same airports as me at the same time. I want to know my airline's requirements/limitations on luggage so I can do some trial runs to make sure I'll be good. There's so much to do regarding the trip there...I'm not even thinking about things I need to take care of for when I get there. And there's no shortage of that, either - gifts for host families; flags for club, family, school; make sure I know what I need to know for the Alien Resident Permit; learning German (<-- a biggie); and a load of things I can't think of right now.
In the meantime, I will sit in my room and listen to German music. Silbermond, Luxuslärm, Peter Fox...:) Facebook is wonderful, because if it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't already know a bunch of the people going to my district, and if it weren't for that, I would never have found Silbermond or Luxuslärm, and wouldn't know about the possibility of going to concerts. Facebook rocks. Rotary rocks. Berlin rocks. Lots of things rock my socks off. Proof? I'm not wearing socks right now. ^_^
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