The End of an Era and the Start of a New Year

Around this time, most people (in the West, at least) start getting really sentimental and try to say profound things about the year that's dying and the imminent birth of a new one. Usually, I couldn't care less. I might get a twinge of loss when I realize the symbolism, but it's never really been that much of a big deal for me. Life keeps on going, with new things to experience and things to forget, and no matter how you look at it, the past is in the past and you can't change it.

But there's something about this year coming to an end, my friends. This year my life changed in a way I never thought I would be blessed enough to experience. This year, I became an exchange student. I would be lying if I said that there wasn't a part of me that regrets the end of such a year. I'll never stop being an exchange student, even after I've gone back to the States. But I'll never get back to this point - the year that I became what I'll always be.

It's hard to put this feeling to words. I'm sitting here in my living room - the third living room I've called home this year. Music is playing - music I probably would never have picked in the States, and music that wouldn't have been playing in my first host family's house. But that music is in my ipod, and I've rocked out to it on the train in the last week. My host sister is playing monopoly on the wii, and my book and ipod are sitting on the coffee table. I just made some ramen-equivalent and I'm at home.

For the first time in my life, I wasn't with my family (my biological family) over Christmas. I didn't sing happy birthday to my mom and laugh at the cards that my aunts and uncles got her. I cried myself to sleep more times this year than any other year of my life. My heart has broken, and been pieced back together for more than one reason this year.

But, this year, I also flew across a ravine screaming in glee with my host mom, brother and sister right there with me. I stood on top of a mountain in the ruins of a thousand year old castle and looked out across the Rhine. I drank champagne on the banks of the Rhine. I introduced myself and gave a presentation about my home and family in German, after only a month of speaking the language. I climbed the Eiffel Tower with a girl I never would have met without Rotary. I walked through Versailles with a Turkish guy, a bunch of Brazilians, an Argentinian, and some Taiwanese girls. I saw and heard the Berliner Philharmoniker rehearse, and walked through one of the most beautiful parks in the world.

This calendar year is almost over. My exchange year is not. Sometimes it's hard to remember why I should stick it out. But then I think about the cello sitting in the other room, and the orchestra that I'll be joining the day after my birthday. I think about the Eurotrip, and going to Barcelona with my host family. I think about all the wonderful things that I've seen and done this year, and all the unbelievable stories I have to tell. Exchange is so much more than just living in another country for a year. This is the only way I can think to accurately describe and show this:

This was my life before exchange.

And this is my life after exchange happened to it.

You see, maybe my life is a little bit messier now, but it's certainly more colorful, and more interesting. :)

Happy New Year, everyone. :)